5 Ways to Defeat That Defeated Feeling

5 Ways to Defeat That Defeated Feeling

As some of you know I am a mother of two young children and that alone creates many opportunities to feel defeated.  Being a parent is really hard work! We are all just learning as we go, aren’t we?? Most days things are good but sometimes things can be overwhelming. I also work full time and am currently in a Masters program. Feeling defeated is something that I like to avoid in the first place but there are those moments when I just feel down. I was feeling defeated this evening and that is what inspired me to write this post.

My day was going just fine. I had an exam tonight so I worked all day and then drove to school to take my exam from 6 to 8 pm. Going into this exam I felt like I was prepared. I read all the chapters, took notes, watched the lectures, and worked on the spreadsheets. Overall I did pretty good until I got to the last page. There was a question on the exam worth 10 points and I had no idea how to do the math to get the answer and show my work. I looked through my notes (it was an open book exam) and found the formula to calculate the answer. The only problem was even with the formula I could not do the math. I didn’t know what all the variables were or how to get them. UGH! I was so annoyed. Instead of just leaving the page blank I wrote a short note explaining to my professor that I had this in my notes and just forgot to study it. I apologized for my lack of preparation and drew a sad face. Can I say UGH again! I hate feeling like this. It was totally my fault and I beat myself up all the way home.

Whenever I am feeling down like this there are some things I do to help me get my mojo back. I am not the type who gives up easily so I have found a couple ways to cope with feeling defeated and get over it.

The first thing I do is look at the big picture and realize that in the grand scheme of things a little set back is not a deal breaker. In this case it was missing a question on an exam that now guarantees I will not get an A on that test. Other times it has been that I felt overwhelmed with the kids and had to hide in the bathroom for a quick cry. Whatever it may be, looking at the big picture helps to put things in perspective. I am not a bad student because I overlooked studying a formula in my notes. I am not a bad mom because I cannot take the constant demands of parenting 24/7/365. Things will be okay. Take a deep breath and let it all go.


Spending some time to focus on myself and do a little extra in my self care routine always helps me feel better. I like to take a nice hot shower and add a drop of lavender essential oil to my body wash. It’s nice to put on some relaxing music and dim the lights. Just focus on relaxing and unwinding. Let the stress of the day wash right down the drain. Put on cozy pajamas, use your favorite moisturizer, and put on your slippers. Feeling fresh, clean, and relaxed helps me move on and get over my issues.

Another way to get over feeling defeated is to get a good nights rest and have a fresh start the next day. Sleep always helps me reset and feel grounded. I need to get good sleep though in order for this to help. On a night like tonight I will take some Natural Calm and get some deep sleep. Whenever I take Natural Calm I sleep deeper and have vivid dreams. It is a magnesium supplement and it helps me fall asleep and stay asleep.

A fun tactic that I really enjoy is to go on Pinterest and search for inspirational quotes or sayings. There are so many! They are fun to read and help motivate me. I pick out some of my favorites and print them out. Then I hang them on my fridge or up in the office so that I can see them and feel inspired. I also like to pick my favorite of the moment and make it my background on my phone. Sometimes all it takes is a little reminder that we are strong, capable, and AMAZING!

Getting myself organized and deciding how to tackle the issue that caused the feeling in the first place is another way to get over it. When it comes to my exam tonight I have decided that I have to be more organized with my notes and keep a page dedicated to topics that the professor says will be on exams. I would have gotten an A tonight if I had done this originally so I will implement this going forward. Staying organized and prepared helps me in all aspects of my life. Meal planning and a rotating cleaning schedule allows me more time to spend with my family on weeknights. This also leads to less pressure on me and makes most days easy going. I learn from my mistakes and implement necessary changes to make sure I don’t make them again.

When all else fails…I drink wine. Here is one of my favorite quotes that gets me through a tough time  ~ “strive for PROGRESS, not PERFECTION” – author unknown.

I hope some of these tips work for you as they work for me! Do you have any tips to help you feel better when you are down? Please share in the comments!!

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I'm a working mom with two adorable (and completely menacing) children. I do my best to make healthy foods and chemical free self care items for my family. Here I share with you, what works for us!

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